Are You Lonely?

                   I happen to be sitting beneath a beautiful moon only hoping that the other person sitting beside me would walk away so that no one would see me sulk. I don’t do this often, but whenever I do in fact sulk, I prefer that no one sees me because I am the type of person that would keep other people happy and be sad all alone.

                  The problem with being me is that you get left out. That is correct. If you happen to be one of those people who keep other people happy and in turn get hurt yourself occasionally well then welcome to my club (opening shortly).

                  Well lets talk about you using me as an object because I think that you’ll be able to relate to this. I am what some people would call well known or someone who thrives on people, but that is only because people know me and I happen to know them. It does not mean that I happen to be friends with each and every one of them. It only means that I know them. I happen to have a very small selection of friends and to be completely honest, if they weren’t here, I would probably have gone insane. 

                    I know that its bad to judge people, but I can’t help it. I just notice on small things which people won’t notice at the first instance. I judge them, and then decide whether they are appropriate for me to hang out with. This process limits my options to a few hand full. 

                    What hurts the most is that people whom you care about don’t feel the same way. No one notices you are gone. No one notices that you were there in the first place. Its like you have an invisible mode which you can easily switch on and off.

                    It hurts when no one cares. It hurts even more when you realise that you are lonely. I’ve been there and I know that it hurts. I know that you might think that you have no one to count on. But then again who does.

                    I envy those who have found proper groups as I have none. I come and go and thats all I do, at times wondering would it even have made a difference if these people knew me. 

So coming back to the actual reason of the blog, if you can relate to this, you are lonely. If not, you aren’t as simple as that. 

If you are lonely, don’t worry, you’ll find someone someday. Thats the motto I have decided to live with.

Lost....

                  The concept of a soulmate used to bug me till I met her. I thought that the concept was very vague and cheesy and that it could happen only in movies but the something out there wanted to prove me wrong and there she was. She was something out of this world and I had fallen for her big time. I knew that cause every time she was around I felt nervous and my heart would start pounding. It took me some time before I got talking to her and found out what an amazing person she was.

                  I kept quite around her as I was more of the shy kind, and kept to myself the things that I felt. Slowly we started talking and the more I got to know her the more I fell for her. As the time went by, my feelings got stronger but being the shy person that I was I kept quite. I wondered what my life would be if I told her how I felt, but then again I feared the consequences of telling her about my feelings. So I kept the feelings in me and confided in nobody.

                 One day while talking to her, this topic came up and I told her how I felt. At that time a million thoughts rushed into my head. They were scenarios of what would happen, what her answer would be, how would she react. Most of the scenarios were negative, only a fraction of those scenarios were the once which said that she would say yes. She gave me an unexpected answer. She said ok. She thought that I was cute and that she liked me as a friend. 

                  I think that it was the most embarrassing moment of my life so far. So the time came when we had to pick a college and we went to different places, we still kept contact which each other and one day she said it too. Maybe she was thinking about the thing I said, I did not know, but I guess that was one of the best things that has ever happened to me in my life. We tried to do a long distance thing but it faded away soon. We realised that it wasn't working and so we decided that we would forget about it and move on. The funny part about it was that we still talked to each other for hours at a stretch and never got bored. 

                   I was bored today and wanted to talk to someone. I wanted to call her for some time now and I thought that now would be the best time to do so. So I called her only to know that she wanted to call and talk to me too. I was nostalgic when I heard her voice after a long time and all the memories of talking to her came back rushing to me, although she never accepted the fact that she missed me too but for some reason I knew that she did. Listening to her talk made me happy and I wonder about the concept of soulmate and if I had lost mine...

I Wonder

           I used to watch a lot of cartoons when I was young, actually when I think about it, I used to watch a lot of cartoons, anyway coming back to this blog, I vaguely remember some cartoon in which the bad guy said that he'd reform the universe in his own image which got me thinking.
         What if this universe or putting it mildly the earth that we live in is made is the image of someone? I mean look at the various time periods in history, we started of with a big bang, someone got banged, mistook it for gas and pop cane out the planets and the starts and the planet earth fell into place. For some time, it was still and had little to no movement inside till it decided to start moving around and make things inside it. Earth came to life with a simple cell, which evolved into various other species.
          As a toddler, Earth was rather peaceful and would stay busy in itself evolving more and more species. As it grew older, a little more intelligent creatures like us humans came into the picture, but we weren't smart back then. The Earth astounded us and gave us everything required for our survival. The Earth had everyone under check back then and was more organised as a child, the bacteria made its own food, the algae ate bacteria, the fish ate the algae, then came us Humans eating smaller animals and plants and at times if we got lucky we ate a dino, and then dinos ate us and they weren't large in numbers (the carnivores) so everything was balanced.
         Then somehow our planet got a cold and we had an ice age for some time, and also I think that there was this asteroid that wiped out the dodo, and other big dinosaurs. Earth was careless and we humans took control of the planet. Somehow because of the disappearance of the dinosaurs and the dodo, we started roam and soon we were everywhere.
         The Earth soon hit puberty and became rebellious in nature and made the humans rebellious too as soon there were wars, people fighting to rule the world, more wars and death everywhere, people learned about democracy and others things after the death of millions of people. Also the Earth got sick once again and the plague swept a large part of the Earth's population.
         The adolescence passed and the Earth became stable again and the humans rebuild whatever was left after the war. Now that we are in the 21st century, I like to think about it as the Earth is 21 years old and is now giving humans ideas for a better, brighter future. Earth is also showing the signs of decay and growing old and we humans see of it as global warming. 

Silence...

          So lately my friend has been giving me the silent treatment and I was trying to figure out a way how make her talk. During all the ideas that I got and all the plotting and scheming I realised that I could not make her budge as silence was a very powerful tool, especially when used properly. 

          Silence is a powerful thing indeed, it could help you attain peace or it could make you go crazy. Silence signifies many things like giving or paying respect, accepting ones fault and apologising for the same, to show that you are at peace with yourself and with your surroundings. 

          Everyone in their lifetime has been caught doing something that should have not been doing and in the process have been scolded for the same. People remain silent while accepting the punishment to show that they feel guilty for going what they did and that they would try and not do that thing again.

          Silence at funerals is a way of showing respect to the departed and hoping that the soul finds its way to become one with the universe. Silence while praying is to give undivided and unparalleled attention to the prayer and to pray with all the soul.

          Silence at most of the situation in our lives is a necessity as it provides you with peace of mind that is unattainable else wise I my sled prefer to be silent and go around doing my work as it makes me relax and work more efficiently. Silence it a other side of coin which contains both communication and silence. Some people prefer the side of communication while some prefer the silence side of the coin, They go hand in hand, a person has to be silent to listen to what the other person is trying to say. No one can listen and talk at the same time. If there was no silence in this world, all there would be is noise and the human race would perish faster than the dodo.

          I guess what I am trying to emphasise is that people should be more silent and listen to other people instead of going on and on about their own problems, try to listen to the birds chirping and the leaves rustling when the wind blows them and maybe by remaining a little silent, people might actually listen to their own inner conscious and be at peace, the only way one can be silent is by staying quiet. 

         Complete silence is not possible, you could achieve complete silence only when you dead or you go deaf, the only way a person can be silent and still stay alive is by trying to remain quiet and that is by people say that it sometimes it is best to stay quiet. 

Oh and as per my friend is concerned, I am pretty sure that she would be okay after we eat some chicken later. 

People According to Me

            Well this happens to be my first proper blog, so please be kind. I am not like other people. Now you may wonder why so, at times I do so, but there are things that people might like which I don't like and my taste are vague. I observe people, not in a stalker kind off a way, I have friends but I don't feel connected to them in the way I should be, and there are times, when I have nothing to do, I just sit with these friends of mine and observe them.

            Thats when I realised and started looking at the world from their point of view. I have many friends whom I can broadly classify into distinct factions. My friends who would read this post later please don't be offended, I have always felt alienated expect for a few exceptions whom I won't be mentioning. These categories that I am about to list are from the top of my head so here it goes : 

1. The POPULAR ONES

          These people look at the person from the head to toe, how he/she speaks, how he/she dresses, how they carry themselves. All though these people might judge people, they are nice on the inside. Trust me, they are always bored and would often pick on someone they feel is not up to the mark.

2. The JOCKS

          Unlike the popular kids, these kids are usually kind off dumb. No offence to anyone but that is usually the case. They usually can't speak proper english, roam with the team everywhere (even the bathroom) and often pick on nerds or people who are smarter than them.

3. The NERDS AND THE GEEKS

          Now there is a difference between geeks and nerds. Nerds are book smart and geeks are usually smart in technology, gaming and something like that. But the common thing is that they try not to be seen alone as they might be picked upon, have a strong sense of unity and always have each other back. They also usually hang out together. 

4. The CLOWNS AND COMEDIANS.

          Yes, all of us have friends who make people laugh and annoy someone just to make the group laugh. I think other people place me in this category. But these people are not necessarily there to make you laugh. They might help you when you are in trouble or pull you up when you are low. They also have their highs and lows but they are always laughed upon whether they are happy or not.

5. The SUCK-UPs

          People who tend to spend most of their time in someone else's shadow. These people stalk the person they want to be in the shadow of and butter their way into the person's life and then  become an integral part of it. These people are the worst as they make up stories and might land you in trouble just of their own sake.

      As of now, these are all the categories that come to my mind, and I think I would update this post as I recall more. Please don't be mad at me, for I am only expressing myself and if you are hurt, please do tell me to get a personalised apology letter.

6. The WANNABEs
          Now these people are the SUCK-UPs who only suck up to the POPULAR ONES because they want what those kids have, often in the process loosing their original identity and becoming nobodies.
         These people would also be the ones to try and commit suicide because their life isn't what they want and wont be appreciative about the face that they have a beautiful life themselves.